It goes without saying how very excited all of us Potterheads were when we heard about the eighth and new script being released on Harry’s 36th birthday. I mean, we’ve been (im)patiently waiting for ANYTHING to be written by the Queen of Wizardry herself, JK Rowling. But then that day came and our anything became, well, pretty much nothing.
I understand that this story was made for the stage. I also understand that this book was written as a script. If I didn’t know that before, it would have been apparent when I started to read. Whether novel or script form, I stand firm that the STORY itself should have been seamlessly written and intertwined to the characters we’ve grown to love (and hate). I have a lot of problems with “eighth story” and I’ll just go ahead and tick them in a list as follows, in no particular order:
• Why was Harry such a jerk to Albus? Seriously, that’s his kid. Did y’all gasp on page 41 like I did? Did you! As a parent, I was very much upset by this.
• Why was Harry mean? Why was Ron a complete oaf? Why was Hermione clueless? Why was Ginny following Harry around like a moron? Why was Dumbledore so needy? Why was Draco, er, pleasant? Why was Albus Potter not gay? Why did McGonnagal take Harry’s shit?
• Where were the Weasley’s? What happened to the Dursley’s? Where in Merlin’s Beard was Hagrid? Where were the Malfoy’s? Where was Luna? I feel like they missed their opportunity to highlight or briefly mention these characters and where they are.
• Why did the gang call Professor McGonnagal, Minerva? Why did they call Neville, Professor Longbottom? Why is everyone so disrespectful in this story? Why is everyone yelling and crying and pouting?
I have a lot of questions. Some I’m forgetting, some I haven’t thought of. I’m really struggling here. I’m really sad this story wasn’t up to JK standards.
• Why was the writing awful? I didn’t read JKR in any of this. It was all Thorne/Tiffany.
• Why was Pottermore revamped? I know, it has absolutely nothing to do with the book. But I had to throw this in here.
•Why is there so much time traveling? Why didn’t they just go back to Tom Riddle’s school days and just kill him then? Apparently there weren’t any restrains as to how far the kids could time travel?
•Why were there so many holes in the story? Especially with the time turners.
• If this is supposed to be canon, WHY DIDN’T THEY HAVE ALBUS AND SCORPIUS END UP TOGETHER? WHY! I think this bothered me the most. I mean, come on! “Still, if I had to choose a companion at the return of eternal darkness with, I’d choose you.” -Scorpius to Albus
• There’s so much hugging (three times, I know) and tender moments between Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy. I wish they were paired together.
•Who was the cursed child? Was it Albus because the story is titled Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, like, it would be Harry’s child? Was it Scropius because he’s had a sad life with the loss of his mother and the expectations he can’t fulfill for his father, Draco? Was it Delphi because she’s Voldemort’s child and enough said? Was it Harry because of the loss of his parents and the time traveling Albus makes him go through?
•Why did JKR give up? Why would she help produce something so beneath her? Why is she mad at us? Why is this considered to be the eighth Harry Potter story? Why would she do this to us?
I have so much angst towards this book. So much! There’s a lot more I’m having trouble with but I can’t put it into coherent thoughts. I finished reading this script August 1st and I’m still upset. There really isn’t anything I can honestly say I liked about the story. At this point I wish JKR would’ve just left it at HP and the Deathly Hallows. It was a perfect ending and we got our brief look 19 years later. I didn’t realize that’s all I needed until Cursed Child was published.
With all this said, I’m going to be watching the movie in a few years (there WILL be a film) because I’m weak and I still need HP in my life. In the words of Ron, I’m gonna suffer, but I’m gonna be happy about it… or something like that.
If you have opposing views from my own, please don’t go all crazy and hate me or threaten me or belittle me. These are my opinions. I’ve read other reviews where the reader loved the book so much they couldn’t seem to find words and instead posted memes and gifs all over the place. To each their own. Instead, leave me comments as to why you enjoyed Cursed Child. I need a reason, any reason, just one, to have faith in this story.